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Joy and Pain
Sherrie Shepherd
“When you numb your pain you also numb your joy. The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy.” -Brene Brown
I used to believe that in order for me to feel joy, happiness, contentment—basically any positive emotion, there needed to be an absence of negative emotion. If one thing didn’t go right, then my whole day was ruined. Seems a little melodramatic in retrospect.
But, how often do we think of life in terms of either/or? Good OR bad? How many times do we think that if something is hard, then we can’t experience joy about that thing? If something brings me pain, then it’s not possible for that something to also bring me happiness?
Running has taught me that this isn’t true. I recently had an experience while running that reminded me that pain and joy can and DO exist simultaneously.
“I do believe those views are all the sweeter because I worked hard to get there. “
Recently, I was able to participate in a fun little race event called El Vacquero Loco 50k in Star Valley, Wyoming. Runners experience steep climbs and descents over rocky, technical, mountainous terrain, forging through valleys and crossing streams. 31 miles, nearly 9,000 feet of elevation gain in the blazing August heat. What also comes with the difficult terrain are miles and miles of fields of wildflowers in every color, looming peaks, forests of beautiful trees, and glassy glacier lakes. I felt acutely the existence of pain and joy together in one moment, all the moments, throughout that race course.
It was one of the most difficult race courses I have ever experienced, and I found myself, somewhere around mile 23, with aching feet and fatigue burning in my muscles, stinging sunburned shoulders, dry throat from thirst and sweat dripping in my eyes, stopping mid stride to just gaze around and take it all in. My heart filled with deep gratitude and joy. I realized that if I hadn’t allowed myself the opportunity to be vulnerable enough to face my fears, experience the pain of stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something that felt impossibly challenging, I would never have been able to see such amazing views. I do believe those views are all the sweeter because I worked hard to get there.
That joy and gratitude didn’t come after I finished the race. It came right smack dab in the middle of the hard part.
Isn’t this true for life as well? This past year has been difficult for a lot of people. I, personally, have experienced hard things I never thought possible. Some days I wasn’t sure I was going to survive. And the journey isn’t over yet. Our world is changing and who knows when or if things will ever get back to normal. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Because experiencing pain gives us a chance to truly look inside ourselves and see what we’re made of.
Pain and joy are some of the most vulnerable emotions. I believe that they can coexist. Runners know that they do. We experience both every day we lace up.
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